The search of yourself

In search of yourself. Since the lost of my job I have been in search for myself. After years of taking care of the husband and kids I have lost my true self. I am 36 with 4 boys and a husband that is in the National Guard and will be deploying for the first time in our 16 yrs of marriage. I find myself wondering where life has gone. I search on the Internet for ideas for a work at home job knowing I have so much to do right here to keep me busy. But I still have that longing for a job and make money too and still be at home with my family when they need me. I was once a very creative person in high school Arts/Crafts and always thinking of new and inventing things. But now all I think about is what do I have to do for the kids and husband. I feel as if I have truly lost myself and what is my true interest these days. However I live for my kids and myself I think.
So I sit and search on the inerent for something to do with my time while the kids are in school and the husband is at his workplace for a online job, starting a online business, or just anyway to make a little extra income. In the hopes to help strike some type of interst in myself like i use to be. A fun and lively person and full of energy. So I got this idea from a old classmate i found on Facebook (I love this place) for starting a blog and putting my words down in writing.
I feel like I am just rambling on but it seems to be helping just for writing my thoughts down. So now it is time to go and start my new adventures and finding myself once again.